My Parents Were Party People!

That our family was Jewish didn’t really matter on December 25th when my parents hosted a massive, everybody’s-invited gathering at our house. The little pine tree in a pot that sat outside our front door was brought into the house, decorated with colorful ornaments, and bestowed the one-day title, “Hanukkah Bush.” From floor to ceiling our house was aglow with electric bubble lights, glittery garlands, and fancy party stuff.

Our living room was transformed with folding chairs and big tables and platters of homemade food that my mother cooked. My father shopped for the gifts (mostly books, which were his passion). Every guest – child and adult, naughty and nice alike – received a gift that was personally selected for them. My dad also designed a menu in calligraphy for the feast my mother prepared, and a beautiful holiday greeting card. If he met you even just once, you got on The List, and by the end of his and my mother’s lives, there were over 1,000 people to whom he sent a card every year. (That was a lotta stamps and envelopes to lick!)

No matter what squabbles or indiscretions had occurred during the year, every aunt, uncle, cousin, and in-law was invited and expected to attend, as were their “friends of” who had no family of their own.

It took weeks (probably months) to prepare for December 25th, and just as long to put our house back in order after it was over. The real value of it was only evidenced after my parents passed away and all those relatives never came together in one place again. My parents weren’t only generous hosts, they were the unifiers of our good-looking but badly broken family.

 Cherish what you have, and remember that the two best gifts you can give to others (and yourself) – LOVE and FORGIVENESS – are dependent upon one another in order to take effect. If we don’t have love, we cannot forgive, and if we don’t forgive, we cannot love. And aren’t those two gifts what Christmas is really about?